"Before
I step onto a different ground, I need to get ready and prepare my paraphernalia
and myself. I will begin to prepare myself mentally and physically before every
use. Some people ask me why I do this, if I know the toll it will take on my
body, and I will reply with “because I love it and I can’t live without it.” If
you have never had this experience before you will not understand why this is a
difficult habit to break. I tape myself up, clean my blades, tie off, and
stretch my body. People who have lived with or are living with this same
problem sometimes have different methods of preparing themselves for it because
they are on different levels and have various rituals. Some are just starting
out on their journey, finally reaching their first high. My first high was my
first gold medal when I was nine years old, always trying to reach that
euphoric state again, but addicts say nothing is like your first high. Others
are ready for rehab; their bodies are worn out and ready to relax, ready to go
to a facility or go cold turkey."
read this entire essay here
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